Doctor's Office:

You're either very, very brave, very, very stupid, or very, very sick. Any way you cut it [ahaha... cut it? A surgeon's reference?! God, we're punny] there's got to be something wrong with you, or a reason that you're going into the Doctor's Office. We suggest you don't look him in the eye, and you answer all of his questions with 'yes's and 'no's. If he asks you to elaborate, do it in as few words as possible. Why? Because, if you make conversation with ol' Doc, he'll most likely think that you two are friends... And friends love each other... And you know what they say about always hurting the ones that you love.