Duck, Duck, NARC! [Member Classes]:

[One Eyed Jim]

homeless -- The lowest of the low, better watch your back, Joe. The Homeless are resentful of Jail Birds that kick them out of their cardboard box homes, and will report any misdeeds, no matter how minor, to your friendly neighborhood Black Stick. Why? Because after you're gone, they get their cardboard box back, not to mention the five dollars the police fork out. I can hear you asking yourself, "they'd rat on me for five dollars" You bet your ass they would. They're hungry. Just ask anybody who's ever had a bite taken out of their arm. Your two best bets? Are to eat them before they eat you, or stab them to death after you take their shelter. NOTE: Being Homeless gives you a lack of shelter from the elements, and an instant 'gang' type of war against the Jail Birds [your natural born enemy], but you get automatic immunity to most Police Officer attacks. Plus, it's a step up from being Scum. Who doesn't want to be a step up from that?

scum -- Okay. You caught us. We lied. Even lower than the Homeless, you've got 'Scum'. These PoS's aren't your average back-biting, gut-stabbing PoS's. Oh, no. They're worse. They back-bite and gut-stab without knowing what the hell they're doing. They leave messes for the rest of us to clean up, just like organic scum. If you haven't caught on, yet, we're talking about YOU. Yeah. That's right. You. So you better start brushing up on your Mid-Apocalyptic Earthiverse Etiquette, because we're sick of scraping your leave-behinds off of the bottom of our boots. NOTE: Scum are just that: Scum. It's like being at the bottom of the food chain in the Army. You get stepped on, spat on, and generally pushed around until you start bucking up and taking action. Your only special privilege is pain and humiliation, which isn't too bad, if you're a Masochist.

booze hound -- Remember when you were a kid and you played a lot of Monopoly? Your favorite card was the 'Get Out of Jail Free' card, right? Well, Booze Hounds have something kind of like that, except [just like in the real world] free isn't free. There's always fine print. The fine print for spending four hours in the Tank instead of a week? You'll spend the rest of your days completely sloshed, and you're going to get the living crap beat out of you by any Black Stick that can get his or her hands on you, because Kelley wants blood. On the positive side, a lot of people like to listen to your drunken rambling and mistake it for 'wisdom'. NOTE: Booze Hounds are generally ravenous drunks, who somehow coast along in life.

paper doll -- You've got the tongue of a goddess, and it's dripping lies. You know you're charming, good-looking, and young... and you don't mind using all of your wiles to get what you want. Stay out of jail? You've got that covered like OJ Simpson's lawyer. A little bit of food? Don't mind if you do. Stole some little old lady's wallet, and she noticed? You have no idea what she's talking about, and you're horribly offended that she'd ever accuse you of such horrendous behavior! They're sure to straggle away from you in shame, or straggle behind you like lovesick puppies. But when you can't handle whatever messes your mouth gets you into? I bet you'll be speechless.

cool cat -- Just like it says, being a Cool Cat makes you one slick mamajama. You've got the highest chances for escaping and evading police raids. Somebody needs a lock picked in a cell? You're the person to call. Extra stealthy and extra slippery, with all the charisma of Charles Manson [and all the lies stuffed up your backdoor, too]. The downfall to all of this charisma? You're probably one ugly mofo, and anywhere you go, somebody's bound to recognize your ugly frickin' face or your voice. That means staying hidden in a basement, somewhere, or running like hell every time you go out in public.

bod modder -- You played a little too close to the Nuclear Power Plant as a child, and when you hit puberty, you started growing fur, leather-skin, or scales. Now you've got a full-fledged cobra hood, pads on your palms, you're always shedding, your toes are turning into tentacles, your eyes are crazy, you have no idea why your teeth are falling out and regrowing razor-sharp, and/or your tongue won't quit hitting you in the nose. Don't worry. We're sure you'll find a beastophile or alien fetishist that wants to love you... Or one of those weirdos that gets Doctor Schvitzenstein to graft animal parts on their bodies. NOTE: If you're a Bod Modder, you can pick almost any animal to be half of. Meaning half. The lowest percentage of the animal that you can be is around 1/4. It's not suggested that you go over half. We like to see our monstrosities with human characteristics.

red hunters -- The Basement Brewers need somebody to do their dirty work: Getting samples off of Reds. It's a filthy, dangerous job, but somebody's got to do it. If you're craving adventure, adrenaline, and action only seen in movies, this is the member class for you. NOTE: If you're a hunter, you've automatically got a bigger chance of blocking a Red attack, or killing a red single-handedly. This 'fighting' ability will aid you with Grays and Blacks, as well.

basement brewers -- When the outbreak happened, and the government told the nation that only people who could afford inoculations were getting them, you and all of your little genius buddies started working away inside of basements, everywhere. You're trying to find a cure. A bigger, better, longer-lasting, inexpensive cure. You like to say that you aren't in it for the money... that you're in it for the good of all man kind! But we know that you're probably in it for the fame, and not because you "want medical equality, and the god-given human right to be healed without being subjected to paying tons of money!" You like to gather in Android Bill's basement, smoke cigarettes around the explosive chemicals, and be generally mad-scientisty. NOTE: This member class gives you the ability to get into Android Bill's basement with little to no trouble from Android Bill.

fat cat -- The Black Sticks hire out their help to whoever pays big money, and the Fat Cats take advantage. They know that people want their cash, and they'll do anything to protect it. A clever Hooligan would gang up on a Fat Cat, or use a buddy to distract the Stick so that they could get a little extra dough. Being a Fat Cat does have its advantages. You've got the money to get an Armani Gas Mask. You've got higher connections. You walk around with inoculations in your pocket. Let's face it, you couldn't get any more powerful. Money talks. NOTE: Fat cats live in the 'Uppercrust' section of the board. They can, and do, travel around wherever they want with their Police escorts. Fat Cat men and women are the equivalent of Beverly Hills parents, only less dismissive of their brood. This causes Fat Cat children to be more rebellious, and seek out 'fun' in the nastier parts of the city.

incarcerated -- You're in the Pokey. You're in the Pen. The Can. The Slammer. The Black Hole. The Pit. The Tank. You've been penally institutionalized. You're up the river without a paddle, and you're going to be stuck there for a week, unless you're a Boozehound [in which case, you get out in four hours. Somebody must really like you]. I bet you don't get caught next time. NOTE: If your character is Incarcerated, restrictions have been added to keep you from posting outside of the detention centers until your Member Class goes back to whatever it was previous to the arrest.

jail bird -- These suckers spend more time on the inside than you spend sleeping and eating [we know that's not a lot of time, but it's metaphoric. Deal with it]. They've got a way of taking what they want, and stabbing whoever gets in their way. They're the biggest rabblerousers this side of the white picket fence. If somebody gets punched? You can bet a Jail Bird did it. If somebody gets beaten down, or something gets stolen? You can bet a Jail Bird did it. Remember that riot last week, when all of the power went out, and somebody stole your TV? You can bet a Jail Bird did it. Unless it was a Homless person who did it, in which case, a Jail Bird's getting his hands on your television, anyway. NOTE: If you're a Jail Bird, you probably don't want to post very much outside of the Slums. If you do post, expect an Officer to reply to your thread. An Officer replying to your thread does NOT mean that you'll be caught. There are always other options: Run, run, or fight back.

corrupt cop -- It takes a lot for a Black Stick to 'look the other way', but once you get into their trusts, you're there forever. It's kind of like joining a gang, or a cult, and protection for information is a fifty-fifty deal. If a Black Stick sees one of his/her favorite narcs getting the beat-down, he usually breaks up the scuffle with a few well-placed kicks or a gunshot or three, then takes the narc into jail for 'questioning'. [Yes. That does mean that the Black Stick lets the narc go directly after shoving them in the back of their Cruiser.] If they hear about it? They don't give two craps. Let the trash take care of the trash. They have to see it going down to do anything about it. It's that 'saving face' kind of 'saving grace'. NOTE: You, too, can become a Black Stick! Want all of the power at your fingertips? Are you a vicious little-kid-punching Lawful Evil prick? Don't be afraid to apply at the nearest Police Station! EXTRA NOTE: Becoming an Officer gives you the ability to control ONE Android NPC. EXTRA EXTRA NOTE: You can also become a run-of-the-mill knight-in-shining-armor Lawful-Good police officer. We wouldn't blame you. They're cool, too. Kind of.

wage slave -- You're a working-class nobody, who sits around inside of a cubicle all day and just wishes something different would happen. You've got no hopes, no dreams, and probably a mean case of depression. You live for your work, instead of working to live, and you think that maybe if you progress in the company, enough, it'll fill the big black nothing that's inside of you. It won't, but you'll keep trying, anyway.

voo doo wannabe -- You're the delusional type, the ones that believe in magic and silly things like 'souls'. You carry necklaces and braclets made of colorful glass shards that you stabbed into peoples eyes to steal their 'life-breath', so that it would provide you the power you needed to perform really 'heavy' magic. Yeah. You stabbed them, all right. Right in their pretty little eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul, after all, right. Yeah. And your eyes are crazy hazy, baby. All that 'heavy' magic's got your tongue heavy, too. Yeah. All that Black Magick's got you hungry for more of the power that it provides. Oh, that Black Magick--she's a wicked, wicked woman. NOTE: You're one of the only citizen classes that get away with daily mass homicide, there are simply too many of you crazies, and you move too fast when you're hopped up on Black Magick, to track down just one of you at a time. Don't eff with the voo doo, man, you won't live to regret it.


bible thumper -- no info exists at this time.